What follows is a contradiction. But it needs to be done.

This computer provides an ample distraction from the night. because I know the moment I tear myself away, I will be faced with the same feeling of unparalleled loneliness, I’ve been feeling for weeks. Don’t you dare call me emo.

I am in all seriousness,  feeling more alone in this time than I ever have.

 I’m a person who finds it hard to open up to people, I’m by all means a friendly guy, but I keep my problems to myself for the most part and don’t let them affect others. The people I do tell about these problems are people I know I can trust, I consider these people true friends and (Like you with your friends) wouldn’t trade them for the world. But here comes a place where I feel the need to express what’s going on in my head.

Much like a few of his close friends of late, Nefariousness has had many sleepless nights.

I find myself tormented by the thought of individuality. I can fight my own battles, my mind is strong enough to overcome these barriers, but what if I don’t want to? I’ve always been one to welcome change with open arms, but I’ve finally found a place I’m happy in, only to have it broken down. Change.

A few of you are aware that my parents are divorcing, and my dreams lately have been accosted by conflicts of this matter. I realised months ago that I would have absolute zero control over the matter when it came. But taking a back seat still means having to be 100% involved in the ride. Maybe this is part of the reason I’m finding it hard to successfully hit-the-hay. Whatever the case is, these nights alone are making me face my own individuality, which I’m not enjoying.

The following is just rambling and can be avoided if wished.<<<<<<<<<<

At this point I’ll add that the band splitting up (Contrary to general belief) has had little negative effect on me. Charlie and I apparently were the only ones that saw it coming (Shock horror, seeing as we’re all going to different colleges!), and are prepared with other projects lined up to satisfy our musical hunger.
I’ts a bad time to be thinking, as college approaches, like many of you have faced it’s suddenly time to decide what I want to do in life. but it’s hard when to be successful at something it seems you need to specialize in it.
A few close friends judge me good enough a friend to open up their problems to me, which doesn’t help as I feel guilty for the inability to help them.

Also I’m faced with the usual 16yr old male troubles: Exams are coming up, I haven’t revised enough. College courses need to be approved. I need to get that girl out of my head and act on the fact that it’s never going to happen (Seriously, she’s on my mind 40% of the time). And my hair is causing me to lose the power of sight and should be cut…but we all know that’s not going to happen for a while yet.

Ramble over.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

‘Individuality is gold’. I disagree; Individuality is thrust upon us. It’s an unavoidable fact of existence.
This week I heard the piece of advice: ‘If you have a problem dragging you down or if something’s depressing you, go find someone you can talk to and, no matter how painful it is, tell them. Having someone to talk to can really help’. Can it? I fail to see how letting the one person I respect the most in on my inner most secrets and weaknesses can help? What can they do to solve my problems? nothing. They have problems of their own, I’d rather not drag them down into mine.
So Nefariousness is left to lay out a few things on his remaining blog, at 2:45am. He’ll be here all morning if you need a chat.

PS. Toolchronicles and Pyrhus’ blog, will indeed be missed by many. We are sad to see them go, but know they will return in some form, in time.

Victor

I am a champion. You have no right.
I was born into a sinfull world. A sinful world you helped turn.
I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, I know my place, I welcome my justice.
You ignore it, you pretend it isn’t there, and seek what is not yours to find.
I am a winner; I follow the rules, I make friends, I care about them, I hold them above myself. The world is full of people like you, this is why you need to leave. You clog it up like a blocked sink, you mistreat it. You burn it, you discard it because you don’t consider the idea of appreciating it.

You were given power, you were gven talent. You abuse it.
You abuse it like you abuse the body you were given, you abuse it because you allow yourself to sabotage your mind.
You claim you’re depressed, and you drag others down with you when you drink, you smoke, you used to even cut! You used to take drugs, and you promise you don’t now, but that’s not what your friends say.
You do all of this, and you still expect nature to bend to your will. You complain that you think no one can help you.
Did you ask me for help?
Did you ask your friends?
Did you ask God? These are questions I’ve asked before, but you still arent listening.

‘We are all equal’. Not you. We are taught this, but no, you are beneath me. And I hate you for this. You had the chance to be here with me, you threw that away. You abuse, and you will lose, there is no way around this. I have already won.
I have already won. I’ve chosen my path, and I know it’s the right one. It’s a path many others have chosen. You were welcome on on this path, but now you’ve lost my trust. You cheated and now you’ll pay the price. I won’t help you any more. I have won my game. You won’t even finish yours, and I laugh at you. You are a foolish person. You will pay for that.

Because of the way I live, I prosper, I am given riches and glory, I am filled with a spirit you denied. You have lost it. I have won it, because I worked for it.

Ultrasound, God and invitations.

Ultrasound
I was fairly annoyed this morning by the incompetence of my science exam.

(Evil People : Evil Acts)?

I was put across the question today; What makes an evil person? In the sense that, what certifies them to be evil?